


They Can't Know

by achilleshealing



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck needs a hug, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pain, domestic abuse, i was having a breakdown when writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleshealing/pseuds/achilleshealing
Summary: He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He should have known better, Maddie being his sister. Yet, Buck found himself in a situation he would have never imagined: curled up on his kitchen floor surrounded by broken glass.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 262





	They Can't Know

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not the best writer and it's currently 1 am in the morning and I haven't stopped crying in over an hour so I'm projecting my hurt on to fictional characters.

He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He should have known better, Maddie being his sister. Yet, Buck found himself in a situation he would have never imagined: curled up on his kitchen floor surrounded by broken glass. 

His mind was a jumble of pain and fear, making it hard to focus on anything. Eyes shut tight, Buck waited for the next blow, another water glass or maybe one of the plates he had gotten out for their dinner. But nothing came. Slowly opening his eyes, he was greeted with an empty kitchen. 

“He’s gone. When did he leave? I should’ve heard him go,” Buck thought as he shakily propped himself against the cold kitchen wall. He spared a glance at the clock on his stove, eyes widening when seeing the time was 7:30 PM. 

“Was I really out for an hour. Shit,” he mumbled, hissing in pain as he forced himself to his knees. His head was pounding, and he was pretty sure he had cut his forehead, judging by the blood slowly trickling down into his eyes. Buck had been off his blood thinner for a bit, but he still found himself bleeding a bit longer than he was comfortable with. It was probably something he should talk to his doctor about if he was actually able to go see him. Jason had “adamantly opposed” Buck visiting the doctor as of late. Buck still had the bruises from that discussion and really didn’t want a repeat of the argument, no matter how concerned he was.   
Slowly forcing himself to stand, Buck took a deep breath. He needed to assess the damage Jason did tonight. He had a shift tomorrow morning and he really didn’t need everyone worrying. He shuffled to his bathroom unsteadily, Buck was pretty sure the hallway shouldn’t be swaying like that. By some miracle, he made it to the bathroom, even though it took a concerning amount of time to get there. Gripping the sink to keep himself upright he looked in the mirror. 

“Fuck.”

The damage was worse than he had originally thought. I mean how much damage could a drinking glass really cause? Apparently a lot.   
The most pressing injury was a large gash above his right eyebrow, it was surprisingly deep and seemed to be the main source of the blood currently drying on his face. There was an assortment of other small cuts and scraps, and there was a bruise forming on his cheek from where he had hit the ground. Running a hand through his cropped hair, he could feel a bump forming, tender to the touch.   
Buck let out a sigh, all he could do was bandage himself up as best he can with his home’s first aid kit and hope for the best tomorrow. He had plenty of time to come up with a lie to tell when someone inevitably asked him how he got hurt. He grabbed the first aid kit and started to disinfect and bandage the cuts on his face. The bruise and bump he’d put some ice on before he went to bed…hopefully Jason had left Buck’s apartment tonight. He usually did after one of their fights, leaving Buck to clean up the mess and himself.   
Once he deemed his handiwork “good enough”, Buck dragged himself to his bedroom and thankfully found in empty. He all but collapsed into bed, barely remembering to set his alarm for work before his body decided to shut down. 

The next morning wasn’t pleasant for Buck. Waking up was a bitch of the worst kind. First, he woke up with a bloodstained pillowcase and a major headache. Apparently he had bled through his bandages. How perfect. Next, the moment he managed to get out of bed he nearly fell over. The room had decided it was the perfect time to work on its Inception impression, and unfortunately Buck wasn’t Joseph Gordon Levitt. Balancing himself by pressing most of his weight against the walls, he made his way to the bathroom the change his bandages. Looking in the mirror was a mistake, he looked even worse than last night. The bruise on his cheek was a dark, angry color and spread down his jaw. It looked like he lost a battle with an angry linebacker, which is a way he had. He quickly patched himself up again and made his way to the kitchen, frowning when he looked at floor. The remains of the cup were still scattered on the tile and there were blood stains dried were he had fallen. A problem for a later time when he didn’t need to get to work and didn’t feel like he was going to fall over. The dizziness was a problem. He likely had a concussion and concussions and firefighting weren’t the safest mix. But he had to go to work, he couldn’t risk having them come and check on him and having Jason show up. They didn’t even know he had a boyfriend, let alone a boyfriend like Jason. No, he had to go to work even if it killed him and with the way he was feeling it just might. 

The journey to work was painful, Buck knew he shouldn’t be driving, not while his vision was blurred and his head feeling like it was going to explode. He was lucky to make it to the station in one piece. Sending a small thank you the universe for allowing him to make it on time and unscathed, Buck slowly got out of his car. Just like his hallways, the parking lot seemed to spin. It was making him nauseous but he couldn’t let that get to him. He needed to put on a brave face and act as if nothing was wrong, he couldn’t raise suspension. They couldn’t know, Bobby wouldn’t let him work if he knew how he was feeling, he would think Buck was weak. That would be worse than any physical pain Jason could inflict upon him. 

Buck made his way into the station, slowly climbing the stairs to the loft. He hoped that everybody was off in some other corner of the building and he could quickly grab a cup of coffee and retreat to some quiet corner in peace without people asking questions about his face. Unfortunately, whatever power that had allowed Buck to get to work pointedly ignored that silent plea. When Buck reached the loft he was greeted with the sight of Chim, Hen, Eddie, and Bobby. Chim and Hen were sitting and discussing something, Chimney was wildly gesturing, his coffee mug coming dangerously to spilling all over the floor. Hen was rolling her eyes in return while she sipped her drink. Bobby and Eddie were over by the kitchen, Bobby was cooking something that smelled fantastic while chatting with Eddie.   
Well, this is just his luck. Buck steeled his nerves as he stepped further into the loft. He could do this, just grab the coffee, and go. Doing his best to hide his face from Chim and Hen’s view he started to make his way to the coffee pot. Hopefully, they’d be too caught up in their conversation to notice him. 

“Hey Buc-what’s wrong with your face?”

No such luck. 

“It’s nothing Hen, just a product of me being a clumsy idiot,” he forced himself to flash a smile. 

Hen frowned, “It doesn’t look like nothing Buck, let me take a look.”

“Seriously Hen, it’s fine. Doesn’t even hurt,” he lied, trying to seem nonchalant. Last thing he needed was her looking over him. She was smart and would know what was up immediately, that the injuries weren’t a result of a dumb accident. And knowing Hen, she’d notice the fading bruises on the rest of his person from past arguments. No, he couldn’t let her look him over. 

“Buckaroo, you’ve bled through that bandage over your eye,” Chim chimed in.

He did? He hadn’t even noticed. 

“Seriously guys, it’s fine. I’ll deal with it okay. Just leave it alone, I just got in a little accident yesterday, no big deal.”

“Buc-,” Hen pushed

“Hen. Leave it.” He finally snapped. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do because Hen and Chimney exchanged an unreadable look. 

“What’s going on in here?”

Shit, he had forgotten Bobby and Eddie were up here too. 

“Nothing Bobby, everything is fine,” Buck said tensely.

Hen crossed her arms over her chest, “That’s bullshit Buck,” she turned to Bobby, “he’s injured and won’t let me and Chim look over him.”

“You’re hurt,” Bobby questioned Buck, who turned further away from him, trying to hide his face. He knew it was futile but he couldn’t help but hope that Bobby and Eddie would let it go. 

It seemed like he was taking to long to respond because Eddie chimed in, “Buck, what’s wrong? Where are you hurt?”

Buck felt trapped, he needed to get out of here, he couldn’t let them see. He knew he wasn’t in any shape to run, the floor was rolling like the waves of the ocean, but panic is a powerful drug. Before he knew it he was moving. 

“Buck!” 

He was pretty sure that was Eddie but he wasn’t listening. He needed to get out. However, he didn’t get far, in fact he didn’t even make it down the stairs. His body was not having it, he managed to get to the to the top of the stairs before his knees buckled. He waited for the harsh impact of the floor but it never came, instead he found himself in a pair of warm arms. 

“Buck what the hell was that!”

Eddie. Shit he sounded angry. He didn’t want Eddie to be mad at him. He just didn’t want him to know. 

“Eddie…”

“Buck you’re worrying us, why did you ru-Buck what the hell happened to you?!”

It seems that Eddie just got a good look at his face. 

“I-I’m fine,” Buck managed to get out, “Just let me go.”

“No way in hell Evan,” Eddie shook his head before essentially dragging Buck’s dead weight to the couch.

“Hen, Chim get the first aid kit,” Eddie said and he laid Buck out of the couch. 

“Kid what the hell just happened,” Bobby sternly asked, the worry on his face betraying his harsh tone. 

“Nothing, I’m,” a wave of nauseous hit him like a truck and he sucked in a breath, “I’m fine Bobby.”

“If you were fine I doubt you’d collapse after taking five steps,” Eddie snapped. 

Hen and Chimney came back into the room, first aid kit in hand.

“Buck, I’m going to look over your head okay buddy,” Hen calmly asked, but Buck knew it was not a question. He was in too much pain, head pounding, to do anything anymore. They were going to find out, he could only prepare himself for their disappointment in him. 

Hen carefully pulled off his bandages, making a face when she saw the extent of the damage, “Buckaroo what did you say happened again?”

Lie. He needed to lie. 

“Uhh, I…I feel down the stairs.”

He internally winced, fell down the stairs? That was the worst possible lie he could’ve come up with. Hen clearly wasn’t buying his bullshit and by the other’s faces, they weren’t either.

Hen wiped the cuts with antiseptic with a frown, and upon closer inspection of the wounds her already present frown deepened, “So when you fell down these stairs did you fall into a sheet of glass?”

“Wh-what,” Buck stammered. 

“Buck there’s still glass in the cuts. What really happened,” Hen pressed leaning back from Buck. Her eyes were full of concern. 

He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, “nothing happened.”

“God damn it Buck! Obviously something happened! You come in here looking like hell and then the moment we ask about it you try to run! And then you god damn collapsed! Now tell us the truth,” Eddie all but shouted making Buck flinch. Eddie immediately felt guilty, he hadn’t meant to scare Buck, that was the last thing he wanted to do. He just was worried and didn’t know what to do to help the man he cared so deeply for. 

“You’ll hate me if I tell you,” Buck eventually choked out, tears building in the corners of his eyes. 

“Buck, son, nothing you can tell us will make us hate you. Nothing. You can tell us, you can trust us,” Bobby soothed.

Buck looked like he was at war with himself before he finally spoke, and what he said none of them were prepared for.

“I-it was my boyfriend…I…it was my fault but,”

“Wait hold up,” Chimney interrupted, “Your boyfriend?”

“I know I should have told you guys I was dating someone I’m sor-,” Buck started.

“Woah, woah, woah, Buck that’s not what I meant. None of us care if you date men, Hen’s a lesbian for god’s sake and we all love her. What I meant was that your boyfriend did this to you?” Chimney exclaimed.

“Uh...yeah we um got in an argument, it was my fault,” Buck looked away. 

“What do you mean it was your fault Buck,” Bobby asked calmly, but everyone could see that the man was barely holding back a wave of anger. Not anger at Buck but for the sake of shit who hurt him. And while Bobby was managing to hold back his rage, Eddie wasn’t faring as well. Eddie’s fists were so clenched they were turning white and Chimney thought the man was going to blow a gasket.

“I was making dinner and Maddie called me and I got distracted and I accidentally burned the food. Jason had a hard day at work and was really hungry so he got really upset and he-,” Buck bit his lip.

“What did he do,” Eddie gritted out. 

“He..he uh threw one of my glasses at me and it hit my head and I fell. I think I passed out for a little bit after that? I’m not really sure…”

If you asked any outsider they’d tell you that the group looked ready to commit murder. Hen was silently concealing her anger, trying to replace it with concern for her close friend. Chimney’s eyes were stormy and he was itching to call Maddie to let her know what was happening to her baby brother. Bobby was filled with a parental rage. Someone had hurt his kid. His kid. As soon as he made sure Buck was alright and taken care of, Athena was going to get a phone call. He was going to make sure that bastard who did this to his son was got arrested. And Eddie. Eddie was so angry he was visibly shaking. Buck was hurt. Hurt by someone who was supposed to care for him. Who the fuck could ever hurt Buck? The man was like the incarnate of everything right with the world! He was good and kind and his smile was like the sun. The thought of someone hurting his Buck was enough to drive him crazy. He really hoped Bobby had Athena get the asshole before he got to him. His homicidal inner monologue was halted when he remembered what Buck had said before.

“Buck…you said we would hate you if we knew what happened? Why-why would you think we would hate you for something like this? This isn’t your fault, if we’re going to hate someone it would be that piece of shit you call a boyfriend,” Eddie asked. 

“I didn’t want you to think I was weak…,” Buck quietly admits. 

“Buck you are one of the bravest and strongest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You’ve gone through so much and yet you remain so kind and you always push through it. I have never once thought you were weak. And I’m sure none of the others have ever thought that” Bobby says seriously, “You are strong Buck, stronger than I think you’ll ever realize.”

Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand, “What he said.”

Buck let out a quiet sob that had Eddie pulling him into his arms in seconds. 

“I’ve got you, Evan. You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

And for the first time in a long time, Buck believed he would be okay.


End file.
